Old Betty (my recollections)

On the block at Lyons Road a young woman did her best
Toiling beneath the sun working the copper with no rest
She crooned and boiled clothes for kids and did it all with zest
So when Old Joe returned from trapping there was nothing left to test?

She mended the clothes and knitted kept the house so well
Everything doused in disinfectant from the smell you could tell
Take your shoes off outside the door she’d often yell
If you come in and dirty my floors you’ll probably go to hell

In the weary weeks ahead she’d be left so alone
From a trapper who purported to love her only when he came home
He’d do the deed buy some feed pay the bills then roam
For poor lonely mother another seed was sown

The next child could be boy or girl in those days you never knew
Mum was pregnant every year after dad bloody passed through
So I remember neighbors often saying do not feel too blue
Betty if you needs us we’ll have the car ready for you

I don’t want charity was often her reply
But there were times as a little boy I often saw her cry
And when I’d ask Mum can I ask you why
The stern response to her son was please – don’t ever pry

It’s about as much as I can recall between Old Betty and me
I went to a boy’s home and for years I couldn’t see
My mother and my father and siblings – all free
In a big crazy loving family home I wish was once for me

Oh My Mother

Your beauty stuns me
Still
I wish I knew you then
I wish I knew you
I wish

Does anything explain a life?
For us, nearly
As well as bewilderment explains
A little boy’s total loss

Of a guardian
Of a mum
Of hope

Oh my Mother
I keep regressing
But your beauty still abounds
Whilst my ugliness thrives

In times lost forever

Copyright Paolo2018-06-26

Holden Hill Memories of a sad childhood

It’s a challenge in my mind of twisted memories
Only sad and sadder it seems
Jovial thoughts little laughter and devilment
Anger
Deception and childhood mischief that
Always takes me back to Lyons road
My sacred place
My last and only home as a child
For the short time I was wanted
Suffering screaming for love
Germans and English
A family of Greeks mixed with Maltese
The Irish McCormack’s offcourse
Some friends who would at least let me cry
And feed me
The shops Mr Micklewicz
An evil man
Credit and the building of debt
That poor Mum bore
Feeding children on begged money
Borrowed nourishment
A father
Who gave money to the Catholics?
But never to a wife
Dad wandered and trapped better than Harry Butler
Seemingly mixed of purpose and confused of mind
A lover at home and a wanderer at heart
No concern for his progeny
A home where love was missing
Kids cried and struggled with their Mum’s loss
And anger
She loved him until the end
Why?
There were no good outcomes at Lyons road
At least not for me
I did not deserve incarceration
Eleven year olds who dare to rebel
Just need to be heard
Not punished for five years without family or love

A burden for simply being a boy not wanted

Copyright Paolo2017-10-24

Mum

I loved you on my own terms
I
Recalled the good things that ended so soon
Possibly Glad I
Made it to eight before my fate
A boy’s home
The trigger that said
Let’s try hate

Your lack of love made me sad
Always
Searching for a loving Mum
Yet
All I found
Was an Angry dad

You turned me to Old Joe
In the end
A young boy with no one
Where else would I go?
For years Ma you were a no show

I have done exactly this to my very own

It destroyed my ability to love anyone
It always seemed so okay to walk away
To hide
No love in my heart no pride
Just so scared of failure

Sorrow has come around now
My own children suffer
For I am an untrained dad
Still
I have little to give anyone
Except the courage to try

I cried for you for four years mother
You never even visited
Now you are gone and I will never know
What it was that made you

All those years ago
Just let me go
Yet
I would have you back in my life tomorrow
For just one hug

I See (For Dayle)

I see the lines in your face
A sad face
A pretty face

I see
The weathered brow
Portraits of the years of hard work

The not knowing
After
Years of beautiful endeavour in your soul
To topple your world

And make
Mt Eliza your stairway to heaven

It’s gone now

I see within
An
Abject failure of loving another
Your life’s burden

Following years of great success
On your mountain top
Your own real paradise
A Garden of Eden

You have been wronged my dear
So so wronged
Your choices in life suspect
Through blind faith

However

I see
Your dreams of a new world
Are coming

My Sweet Jessica

Think a little about your youth
And
Why was I not there for you my child?
Maybe ambition
Maybe lack of responsibility
Maybe I did not know how to do the hard yards

I always had dreams for you though
My sweet girl
I always thought I would come back and save you
But as life goes challenges arise
And fathers seem to lack the mother gene

In hard times fathers seek work
Opportunity
New horizons

With dreams for our loved ones and children
A pot of gold at the end of our folly

In my youth it all fell apart
Alcohol and peer group pressure took me away from you
It took me away from the world

Of Family

I lost all of my children

I lived in hell
I still live in hell my child

I can never give you a father
But
I can give you a friend

Jiggys Place

If you’ve ever been to Jiggys place you will know what I mean
Four little billy lids who just have to be seen
There’s stuff from pillar to post cleverly fitting wall to wall
Toys piled sixteen high for the kids to have a ball
There’s a motorbike a boat and cars up the lane
Thank bloody god Jiggy doesn’t own a plane
And Mrs jiggy is kept busy doing this and that
You’d have to think her days are numbered wearing the chequered hat
There’s facebook on the PC screen and Ice Age on the telly
Jiggys in the kitchen planning something for the belly
There’s some shrapnel near the BBQ where conversation used to be
Replaced ever so subtly with dead cans of green VB
And all the noise in the world coming from screaming billy lids
Would never put a damper on Jiggy for he’s the king of kids
So if you want to help babysit eat tucker and get off your face
Just head out to Greensborough way and stop at Jiggys place

Oh Trev (A tribute to Trev Koce RIP)

There was a man from Maketu
Who left us without a clue?
As to who would manage the Red Square now
The diaries and the brew

He often spoke of travelling
He loved to take his car
And hit the road to freedom
He never cared how far

But he caught us all by surprise
With his latest bloody trick
He pissed off to the pearly gates
And gave us all the flick

There has to be a reason
It defies all common sense
That he’ll never have another leak
Between the shed and fence

Someone said they’d overheard
Trev had a wonderful dream
He would take his longest journey yet
For a drink with sister Nene

She’d be at the pearly gates
Keenly waiting for her Bro
And both would hug with tear in eye
For the family left below

The Red Square can never again
Be that meeting place of choice
Where one can listen to fabulous stories
And hear that wonderful voice

Brother Dazza (Happy Birthday)

Catch your dreams my dear bro
Your youth suggests I’m first to go
At least I watch a younger beau
Attempt my heroics in love and low

Follow me not to where I go
It’s every chance somewhere below
Where fire and the devil is what I sow
And the evil man is a friend I know

Take my advice and off to church you go
And pray to the lord that your halo glow
When his forgiveness is awfully slow
There’s only one person to blame Paolo

Poppy’s Girls

The grandson is coming I know
It’s just a matter of when

Lucy is cool
Hayley is sweet
And
Zoe rules

Emily makes four

Granddaughters galore

So its toy time

Remote control here I go
Cars boats and planes
Little girls dream toys

Perfect
Hand me downs for a boy