Want to be a policeman today?
Where the crims are right in every way,
And the Beak always seems to lean their way,
Punishment is a thing of the past I say.

Want to be a policeman today?
Where the law frustrates you in every way,
And the poor public is made to pay,
As the do-gooders have their say.

Want to be a policeman today?
Uphold decency and the rights of the lay,
Be extra gentle with those that are gay,
Make sure the minority has their say.

Want to be a policeman today?
I doubt that you’ll earn very good pay,
And there are very few hours a day to play,
Always on duty night and day.

Want to be a policeman today?
Prepared to accept what comes your way,
Cannot see justice and fair play,
A tough career come what may.

Want to be a policeman today?
And have your life in disarray,
With no thanks from day to day,
Find a new career that’s what I say.