My Dog
My friend
My beloved mate when Mum died

We cried together in her bed
He never left her side
Even though she wasn’t there

He just waited

And
Waited

We both waited
Heartbroken

As we are still

For our Angel

My Nerine and his Mum

Tell me I am getting better
I often ask

Tell me you see improvement in me
I’m looking for it
Tell me you see happiness in my eyes
I beg it

Just tell me

Tell me I am getting over things

Tell me all the awful stuff never happened in my life

Tell me Nerine is here
And Trev is making moonshine in the square
Or smoking fish

That Robert will be at Woodchoppers
When I call

That Mike and Jade didn’t deserve this

That Corry and Vern got a bad deal

Its ok you can tell me

Tell me it’s all a dream and Uncle Charlie is here
Tell me Uncle Paul is back

Tell me Dad is waiting at the door
And birds are flying about

Tell me God
Where are you when I need you?

Of all the things
I wanted to be
I made a mistake
I picked me
So foolish I agree
Who I am now
Is all you see?
I could have been famous
Glitter and glee
But here I am
A Wanna be
But
I’m bigger than Elvis
He was no where near me
He was five foot eleven
And I’m six foot three

If you know me I have wasted your time
Loneliness in my heart is real
By association you have suffered pain

Unfairly

I know I have not treated you well
I have not had the capability to love
And love without condition
I am a product of dysfunction

No father ever cuddled me
No mother ever kissed me
No brothers and sisters in my youth
Were free to discover me

And of my own doing
I deserted my children for the search of gold
The will to find something
Anything

But I never did

I have wasted your time

Its coming

We are due at least it once
It Cometh to all

Via mystery delivery

By accident
By disease
By murder
By old age
By ill health of sorts

But

It never comes via desire
Lest despair
And choice is an open book
Called suicide

So all my lost friends are back

Despite years of heaven and hell
Or wherever they went
They had peace
They had their choices

Now they are back

Imagine
What they would say

Some would say there is no god
Others would persist there is no devil

And I would ask them
Where have you all been?

And the saints would say we are back
You are saved

Whilst the devils children would remind me
We are still playing with your mind

Imagine

She set the world on fire
In
A man’s world
When
All girls aspired to similar win
Back then

Carefree with
Foolish innocence and youthful zest
And protestation
For a better world
Written femalely

A political free zone perhaps
For only new men
And
Vietnam was long gone
After
Separating friends and forcing enemies
Unfairly

She was twenty one
And free

A spirit called her to speak
To a changing world

She marched
She spoke loudly

And
She made it at last with
A
Youthful and stunning success

A win
For all women in a male world

She was twenty one and angry

She is why

We now give woman a voice
She is a hero
My Hero

Tomorrow will not be my care
For
I’ll be gone
Go forward in haste without me friends
All of you
Life is so short

Your time will come too

After a sea of tears

And
An exaggerated view of my worth on earth

There is no heaven anywhere
Heaven can only be living forever
I never made it

My death is eternal

I lived my hell here with fun
Heartbreak courage lows and highs

And
I know at least once I let you down

And
I know for certain at least twice I loved you

You will find loving me easier
If tomorrow I die

A father away
I did that
A mother sad
I caused that

Sons and a daughter sad
I did that too

Why?

My own case of cause and effect
A tough kid
Lacking love seeking love

Never receiving love

A fighter
A government produced ward
Ill prepared for a tough life

And
All the love in the world
Would not have saved me
Back then

In fact
Nothing could have saved me

Except Nerine
Except my own kids
Except her kids
Except Grandchildren

A reality
Life is short love everyone

While you can

Oft I think
Thoust still ponders our love
Thin for such dreams
Of
Largeness so foolhardy
Back then

Cryeth not my girl
We shot to our moon and fame
Unaided

And landed awkwardly

Lacking sense of old
We travelled
A vortex of youthful nonsense
All for our Adonis

Craig Paul

You were one brave girl
I have never forgotten
The gift of a son